"Wait, it had Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom? I didn't know that! I should have seen it with you!"

So said Jen, a friend who'd turned down a date to see the movie with us.

So we went - Justin, Lulu, and I - to the dignified, gilded grande dame of East Bay theatres, the Grand Lake Theatre. A few spaces in front of us in the theatre sat an entire row of young girls - aged nine, tops - dressed as pirates. Some wore scarves and eye patches. The coolest girl wore a crushed velvet brocade double-breasted coat. Clearly, this was the second - or maybe third - time they'd seen this movie. The opulent restored surroundings, the thick velvet curtains, the gaudy lights, the gorgeous wall coverings suited the baroque mood of watching a grandly epic, beautifully shot movie about scoundrels of the sea.

So how did pirates get to be so cool?

Some of my friends would say they've always been cool. But they would be wrong. I saw Errol Flynn in Captain Blood. A friend told me recently that he'd seen it screened at the Paramount Theatre, and it was chock full of explicit homoeroticism. "Like what?" I asked, since I hadn't remembered anything like that.

"Like there's a scene where Errol Flynn is tied up, shirtless, with these weird leather buckled straps across his chest. The bad pirate guy comes up behind him holding a dagger at his crotch, erect like a penis, and then thrusts his hips forward into Errol Flynn's butt."

Well, that's explicit. There's no chance of hanky-panky between Depp and Bloom, but the camera dwells lovingly on their muscular, athletic grace, on their romaticized pirate clothes, on their flowing locks of hair stirred by the sea wind.

Arrrgh, it's pretty, let me tell you.

The movie is romantic in the non-modernized sense of the word - a true, old-fashioned, high-blooded Romance (from the French, roman, meaning novel.) Characters are sketched with a sure hand, broad strokes and quite a bit of stylization. The sets and costumes are dazzling, the action is overdone in the best taste. The pacing is expert, especially in the crucial opening sequences of the movie. The plot is a bit over-elaborate at times - what's this now about an Aztec curse? How exactly is it to be broken? - but everything wraps up in a neat happy ending without compromising the untameably indepedent - and proto-American - pirate spirit embodied in the dread-locked goldtoothed Captain Jack Sparrow. As Elvis Mitchell for the New York Times wrote, it's better than any movie based on a Disney theme park ride has any right to be.

The image of Depp, as Sparrow, on the mast of his ship looking out over unknown crystal clear Caribbean waters, is set as my wallpaper right now. Looking at it last night with Justin and Lulu, we talked about the movie. "That was really fun," said Lulu. "It makes me want to swing from ropes," I said. "It makes me want to see the movie again!" Justin said.

It's not that I think I can get more out of the movie - the plot may be convoluted but it's hardly arcane - but the movie evoked such an exciting emotional response in me, a completely guiltless and gleeful delight. Not since Lord of the Rings - and before that, The Matrix - have I wanted a repeat movie experience.

Jen, you can still come with us. I think we're going in for another round. Arrrrgh!