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Child's Play
by Liz Fine
A few years back I remember being at a spiritual retreat and seeing people walking around carrying teddy bears and other stuffed toys. I leaned over and whispered to a friend, "What's with the stuffed toys"?
She replied, "those are the people who are doing inner child work".
"Ahhh", I responded. Now it made sense. I felt bad for those people, thinking they must have had terrible childhood's and were trying to get back what they had lost.
Years later, I would have the opportunity to find the little girl of long ago inside me. It began with the births of my nieces, Jessica and Lea. Suddenly I had these children in my life and right away I realized they love to play. They announce they want to play, they invite everyone to join them, they make playing seem pretty damned inviting. As there only Aunt, and therefore favorite Aunt, I'm always unable to refuse them.
Wings are a girls best friend!
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Jessica, my four-year-old niece loves pretending she is an ant. She loves it when I make a big fuss and complain about all the "ants" on the floor. I mimic a can of RAID with my hand and spray her. She squeals with delight as she fends off the vapors and her ant always survives. This can go on for an hour. Another activity is drawing pictures as she watches. She brings me paper and pencil or crayons. Her requests can go on and on. First a dinosaur, then a mermaid, then a lion and a giraffe. I draw and sketch as she comes up with one flight of fancy after another. Lea, eighteen months old, likes a different form of play. She likes a big reaction and lots of repetition. Over and over, she slams the door in my face as I produce a colossal shocked reaction for her. She laughs with delight as she horrifies Aunt Liz, over and over.
Jessica and Lea, always ready to bake.
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What children learn when they play is amazing. According to Smart Start The Parents' Guide To Preschool education, each form of play brings about a new learning experience. I am actually teaching my nieces many lessons and skills they will carry with them through life. When Jessica plays the guitar and Lea bangs a drum, there connecting with the outer world of movement and music at the same time, finding an inner world of feelings and observations. Our many art projects teach the girls that their creativity is only limited by their imaginations. Sometimes, as an adult, I too need to be reminded of the value of incorporating my imagination. I can get limited and set in my ways in terms of everyday life. Art projects like crocheting and painting help me break out of the ordinary. Playing outside in nice weather is always a treat for the three of us. We run and chase each other, suddenly a workout doesn't seem like work at all. We throw balls and play in the sandbox, and swing as high as we can. The girls explore and manipulate the environment while refining gross-motor skills. Dramatic play seems to be our favorite of all. A huge box of costumes are indispensable at my house. Hats, purses, unbreakable tea sets and dolls are apart of our make believe world. We always have a story or script in mind, and that teaches the girls how to perform each step in a logical and orderly way. They are able to concentrate and use control.
The ridged discipline I was raised with, is not the thing that makes these children delightful to be around. Having joy in my life and lots of newfound playtime is helping me see things in a brand new light. I seek more fun in my daily life. I venture out more; I started a blog of my own because it seemed to be a fun thing for others. Today, I want fun. I'm learning everything doesn't have to be mundane work. I can continue to learn and explore in a way that helps me to find the carefree child inside myself.
Author dons a tiara at Halloween.
What I love is their spontaneity and their innocence. A friend of mine once told me a story where a man walked into a first grade class and asked, "How many of you can sing and dance"?
All of the children raised their hands and said, "I can, I can".
Then he goes into a college level class and asks the same question. Only one or two people raised their hand. I don't know, these days I feel like I can sing and dance.
When I was a child, I had to play the part of a bucket in my schools rendition of 'Willy The Wicked Window Washer!'
Posted by: Stunty at July 25, 2003 12:27 PM
I love the article. I reminds us all to reconnect with the carefree, life-loving child that lives forever inside all of us. Great writing, and adorable pics!
p.s. that story at the end sounds familiar?!
MAustin-Hilley
Posted by: Tonita at July 26, 2003 09:38 PM
Tonita, she is a very wise friend!
I always loved that story.
Posted by: Liz Fine at July 28, 2003 03:59 PM
Liz:Wonderful article! Thanks! Love the new mag on the site. Hope you don't mind a long response,it's a mail forwarded to us long ago:
Resignation from adulthood:
"I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8-year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think it's a 4-star restaurant.I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers' day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple.
When all you knew were colors,multiplication tables,and nursery rhymes,but that didn't bother you,because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes,paperwork,depressing news,how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank,doctor bills,gossip,illness and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles,hugs,a kind word,truth,justice,peace,dreams,the imagination,mankind,and making angels in the snow.
So...here's my checkbook and my car keys,my credit cards and my 401K statements.
I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further,you'll have to catch me first,cause....
Tag! You're it!"
All the best,the Sousa family.
Posted by: Forsythe P. Jones at August 6, 2003 05:11 PM
beautiful and well written! i went through a few years trying to be older and "mature," but once the younger parts of childhood were over, i scrambled to regain them and so here i am, fifteen, playing with disney princess dolls, making ragdolls, and playing dressup after homework. again, you are very articulate!
--ashly
Posted by: Ashly at September 6, 2003 11:13 AM
i need a costume for the word "community",for a second grader asap.
Posted by: denise at January 10, 2004 03:19 PM
Posted by: leah benentio at March 6, 2004 01:06 AM
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