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New Meaning for Solid Snake.

Speaking of new game journalism (okay not really), I recently had a deep and rich conversation with a friend of mine over the rumor that Uwe Boll wants to make a Solid Snake movie (thanks Kotaku):

[10:43] Bowler: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[10:43] Bowler: http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/uwe-boll/uwe-boll-eyes-metal-gear-solid-146981.php
[10:43] Captain Fantastipotomous: yeah yeah
[10:43] Captain Fantastipotomous: they've talked about that before
[10:43] Captain Fantastipotomous: who cares, it is a game and not a movie
[10:44] Bowler: I don't ever want a Solid Snake movie.
[10:44] Captain Fantastipotomous: exactly
[10:44] Bowler: How the fuck are they going to make Fox Hound sound cool in a film?
[10:44] Captain Fantastipotomous: unless it is a porno
[10:44] Captain Fantastipotomous: i think that would be funny
[10:44] Captain Fantastipotomous: SOLID SNAKE YOU MUST BATTLE SNIPER WOLF
[10:44] Captain Fantastipotomous: prepare for my solid snake attack bitch
[10:44] Bowler: Bawm chicka bawm bawm
[10:45] Bowler: SOLID SNAKE YOU MUST BATTLE VULCAN RAVEN
[10:45] Bowler: Fuck that, I'm out.
[10:45] Bowler: Peace.
[10:45] Captain Fantastipotomous: well i think the new enemies would all be girls
[10:45] Captain Fantastipotomous: so
[10:45] Captain Fantastipotomous: psycho beaver
[10:45] Bowler: VULVA RAVEN
[10:45] Captain Fantastipotomous: ha ha ah

These are important conversations people. So what are your Metal Gear Porn Names? Let's hear 'em folks.

New Game Editorials

I know SomethingAwful's two articles on the worst video game journalism of 2005 have been around for a little while now, but they do make for good reading, especially for us journalists. Zack Parsons makes a good argument that we're largely pretentious, whiney fans rather than anything resembling journalists.

Parsons' most significant point is the desire of so many gaming journalists to become celebrities. So many of us want to be recognized and certified and legitimized that we try to create a clever, likable persona. The writers Parsons names (many of whom are pretty big within gaming circles) write long-winded, self-adoring reviews and previews of games that do little more than paint themselves as ironic and clever arbiters of culture.